Cold War/Transcript
starts with the title card music with coughing in it, then opens up viewing the sun. Rain clouds roll in and thunder flashes. Rain falls Chris Chuggy/Nancy/Yo/Duke dejected Aww. leave Fanboy and Chum Chum: Rain! (Song: Rain, Rain, Come Again) Rain, rain, come again! Give us water on the brain! Fanboy: Splash, splash, splash-splash-splash! Chum Chum: Splash-splash-splash-splash-splash-splash-splash! they sniff the rain, sneeze, then fall to the ground. They sneeze once more to the Fanlair, rain still coming down. F&C are on the couch, sick from the rain Fanboy: wipes nose Ugh. Chum Chum: I'm gonna write that no-good mother nature such a letter! Fanboy: Look at the bright side. into hands We may have colds, but at least we get to spend the day at home together, best pal o' mine! hug Chum Chum: That's true, buddy. the phone Well, we better call in sick. to the Frosty Mart phone rings Lenny: '''Frosty Mart, how may I make your day more "frostinicious"? '''Fanboy: Hey, Lenny. Chum Chum and I have colds, so we're not gonna be able to make it in for today's usual madcap hijinks and tomfoolery. Really sorry. Lenny: excited Ugh, no problem! Stay away as long as you like! Longer, even! Fanboy: Thanks, Lenny. We'll try and pull a double next week. Ooh, nachos! a nacho from the counter Lenny: Hey, those are -- ends Fanboy: nacho Now, we're no work and all play! Chum Chum: So, what shoud we do? Fanboy: I think today is the day we finally reach the bottom of that box. perspective, we see a box with a mountain of toys Fanboy's alarm: Fanboy time says... voice ten seconds later. is a mess on the floor as the boys play Fanboy: Boy, that bottom really sneaks up on ya. Chum Chum: I'll say. TV? Fanboy: Nothing else to do. to the boys sitting in front of the TV Chum Chum: presses remote Ugh. Oh, man! The batteries are dead! Fanboy One of us is gonna have to get up and turn on the TV. coughs weakly Fanboy: In my condition? Uh-uh, too risky! Chum Chum: annoyed I'll do it. pause Gahh! to floor So weak! Fanboy, turn on the TV for me! gasping doesn't seem to care Fanboy: Oh, chum chum, is that you? I believe I'm suffering from fever blindness! Chum Chum: cheery So, you're really not gonna do this one little favor for me? Fanboy: I believe my record's clear on the matter. Chum Chum: annoyed Fine. I didn't want to watch TV anyway. Fanboy: Me neither! Chum Chum: Great! Fanboy: Terrific! clears throat Chum Chum: on the couch Do you mind? I have to breathe this air too. Fanboy: annoyed Oh, my apologies. look away for a pause, then Chum Chum sneezes over both of them Fanboy: Ugh, ever hear of a tissue, friend? Chum Chum: Pardon me, buddy. nose with tissue sneezes on Chum Chum, feeling "relieved" Chum Chum: You did that on purpose! Fanboy: Nuh-uh! If I'd have done it on purpose, I would have done this! in slow-mo on Chum Chum really hard Chum wipes his face off. Both are really angry Chum Chum: THIS! ENDS! NOW! Fanboy: You are! growl at each other, then pose as ninjas. Battle crying, they start to attack, but are stopped by the doorbell Fanboy: You expecting someone? Chum Chum: Not me. to the door outside. Kyle is t here, waiting in the rain. F&C open the door Fanboy and Chum Chum: Kyle? strikes, hence his name being said to give emotion Chum Chum: What are you doing here? Kyle: Obviously, I wouldn't be here unless this was an emergency. the door I got caught outside in the rain, which as you know is like acid to wizards. he says this, F&C look at each other in a "never heard that" expression Also, this seems to be acid rain. oround to show that his cape is evaporating So...could I -- Fanboy: onto Kyle at a range where their noses appear to be touching Stay here and play with me all day? Of course, old friend! Chum Chum: between them Kyle, wouldn't you rather play with me? Fanboy: Are you kidding? He is clearly here to play with ME! each take Kyle's arms and start to walk away, but Kyle can't follow both at once Kyle: No! Stop! stretch, then smack against him Urrrgh! return Kyle's arms to their normal positions and put on cheesy smiles Kyle: I'm not here to play with either of you. Remember the rain? Hello! Why would I want to spend any time at all with you snot-filled troll babies? Fanboy and Chum Chum: CAUSE YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND! gasp, then growl at one another Kyle: surprised Your...best...friend? Really? I don't know what to say...I...I always assumed you despised me as much as I despised you. he says this, F&C blow raspberries at each other. Fanboy jumps into Kyle's arms Fanboy: Pish to the posh, Kyle! You're like, um, the best guy to hang out wi-ith? Sooo much cooler than -- kicked away oh! Chum Chum: Fanboy, who never pays attention to people. All Fanboy does is talk and talk and -- taken oh! rolls Chum Chum into a ball and slingshots him away Fanboy: So, best friend Kyle, want to play a game? Chum lands on Fanboy and they fight Fanboy and Chum Chum: simultaneously Mine!/No!/No, mine!/No, for me!/You're making this more difficult than it has to be!/He's mine! Kyle: Just to be clear, you're fighting over...me? Well...I don't know what to say! I've never actually had anyone want to pay with me before! cling to Kyle Fanboy and Chum Chum: I DO! Kyle: touched All those games of solitaire, hiding and no one seeking. Right then, this is a momentous decision! Who shall gain the privilege of being my best friend and playing with me? Hmm? perspective, we see F&C disgusted Are these the only choices? Fanboy: Before you choose, Kyle, just consider this! a lever, releasing the trapdoor under Chum Chum. He falls into it, screaming Kyle: Well, that does simplify things. to Fanboy and Kyle lounging on Fanboy's bed Fanboy: cheerfully So, what do you want to do first? You want to play Dead Arm? Charlie Horse? Eyesies Pokesies? Kyle: less thrilled Perhaps a board game would be more to my taste. Fanboy: Okay, check this out! off bed, and it opens into a game chest up of the top of the chest, panning down to the bottom Fanboy: Let's see what we got. out games and tosses them to Kyle, who tries to hold them Killer Robot Frenzy, Zombie Attack, Violence Fight, Violence Fight 2. Now with more violence. Kyle: Ooh! up some girly board game Mr. Unicorn's Teddy Bear Dress Up Fashion Show! Fanboy: Eh, Chum Chum and I sort of melted all those pieces to put them out of their lameness. Kyle: Pity! Okay then, how about Chinese Checkers? Hmm...then again, that may get a bit high-spirited, what with the spice of the orient -- Perhaps just Domestic Checkers. Later... Fanboy: I choose -- Kyle: I choose black! while setting up the pieces Fanboy: Oh, well, Chum Chum usually lets me choose black, you know, for ninjas! some ninja poses Hiya, ha! Kyle: Well...I'm your best friend now. And I'' choose to choose first. '''Fanboy:' Uh, sure. Okay, I guess. the game... Kyle: I jumped you! Deal with that. Fanboy: board Hiya! puching Kyle: What on earth are you doing?! Fanboy: Playing! You got to make the evil energy disks jump into the BLACK HOLE! Kyle: Why do you insist on besmirching such a noble game?!? Fanboy: annoyed What? How do you play "Death Checkers"? Kyle: up and leaves Obviously, I've chosen the wrong best friend! Fanboy: But Kyle -- elevator comes up and knocks Fanboy to the celing. Chum Chum is in it Chum Chum: Come on, best friend Kyle, he doesn't deserve you. gets into the elevator, and Chum Chum takes his hand as the elevator goes down. Fanboy falls off Fanboy: Eep! floor Ow. the living room, Chum Chum is holding two ninjas - one red, one white Kyle: So exactly, how does one play "action" figurines? Chum Chum: It's easy! You just move them around and make them fight! Kyle: Oh, how delightfully lowbrow! the white ninja En garde! Stand and deliver! giggle as they bump their ninjas together, then... Kyle: There, I have given you what-for! Chum Chum: Nope, I moved. Kyle: You didn't move! Chum Chum: I'm too quick. You didn't see. But now, I chop your arm off! his ninja against Kyle's, making its left arm fall off Kyle: Huh? Oh. All right then. Perhaps you'll feel the force of both my parry and my thrust! while "attacking" Chum Chum's ninja Oh, ho! I've cut you to the quick! Chum Chum: Uh-uh! You bounced off my force field. Kyle: about to do a victory dance, but stops Force field? Ninja's don't have force fie -- Chum Chmu: And then, I use my sonic ray to pretzel-ize your legs! Kyle's ninja Kyle: Don't do that! Huh? at his ninja's legs in a bow Oh. Fanboy: Ooo, sonic turbo ninjas. Chum Chum Did you use your mystical throwing cow? Here! him a wooden cow Chum Chum: Ooo, good call. the cow at Kyle's ninja, making its right arm fall off Kyle: irritated So, we're going to play loosey-goosey with the rules, are we? Well, what do you think of this? Chum Chum's ninja, jumps on it, hits it against the door, then rips it in half. He then sighs There! Taste of your own medicine. to the floor and groans Chum Chum: Missed me! Kyle: Huh? Fanboy: And...your head explodes. head on Kyle's ninja explodes. Kyle isn't very happy now Kyle: GRR! YOU'RE CHEATERS! CHARLATANS! WITH YOUR -- MADE-UP RULES AND YOUR -- AIRBORNE LIVESTOCK?!? I CALL SHENANIGANS!!! Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp Eee! Shenanigans! alarm goes off as red lights flash and kids cheer in the background. A sign and two stereos drop into place as balloons fall from the ceiling Kyle: amazed, while getting up from the floor Huh? Fanboy: an elevator Gentlemen, Shenanigans has been called! Kyle: What's happening? Chum Chum: Shenanigans is the best game we've got. Way to go, Kyle! put on their shenanigan helmets Kyle: Huh? Fanboy: SEND IN THE CLONES! Chum goes over to a pair of boxes and taps on one of them with a broom. Four clones each of himself and Fanboy run out Clones: Shenanigans! Shenanigans! Shenanigans! Kyle: screaming runs away, but a stereo blasts him with pancake music. Kyle runs to the window, slams into it, and the clones catch him and carry him all over the place Kyle: No, no, no! Fanboy and Chum Chum: PANCAKE FIGHT! Kyle: Oh, help, help, help! hit with a pancake Fanboy: Ooh, a red-hot huckleberry, and on your first try. Chum Chum: That gets you a sky-high rocket ride. puts the rocket on Kyle. Screaming, Kyle flies all over the Fanlair and lands in the bathroom comes out of the bathroom with a toilet on his head, speech unable to understand. He finally gets the toilet off Kyle: AND I REFUSE TO SPEND ONE MORE MOMENT IN THIS NUTHOUSE! LET! ME! OUT OF HERE! Fanboy: Okey dokey. Kyle calls outsies! alarm goes off. Cut to outside, rain still pouring. Kyle bursts out of the Fanlair and hits the moon Kyle: Ow... inside... Clones: Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game. Good game. continues Fanboy:'''How fun was that? '''Chum Chum: Super fun! nose Hey, I'm not sick! Or sick of you anymore! Fanboy: Me neither! Such is the enduring gift of Shenanigans. look at each other and coo F&C sit at the window and watch the rain fall Fanboy: Chum Chum, let's promise to never do whatever got us mad at each other in the first place ever again, whatever that was. Chum Chum: It's a deal, best friend. pause Want to go play out in the rain? Fanboy: You read my mind, best friend! You read my mind. leave Category:Transcripts